She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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