As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize