I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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