but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
