so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
