im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize