I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
