just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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