For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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