I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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