i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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