i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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