No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
