The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
