Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
