yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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