Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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