If that was your dad, he is hot
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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