I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
