3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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