She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
