Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
