he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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