did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
