I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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