I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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