some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize