so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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