It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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