Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
