Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
