taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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