already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
how do you say âi know we havenât hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other dayâ without coming on too strong
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