Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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