So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
