i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
