So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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