Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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