His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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