I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
