therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
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this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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