I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
