friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
