Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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