It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
