he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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