whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The best revenge is premature balding
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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