I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
