Non-Jews are for practice
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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