oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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