this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I believe in your delicious
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
