you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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