omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
