His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
