I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
