WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
