I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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