dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
