I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
