Already got asked if we're dating
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
