So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
