i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
