Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize