They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Found the puke drawer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
