Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
