I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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