and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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