Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
