So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
