office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
