You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Bring me that man meat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
